Haunted By Acronyms: The Travelogue, part one

Hello!

I am forming a sort of first-quarter New Year's resolution, which involves getting it together to post more here. I've neglected to talk about most of my travels, in favor of complaining about the things that have gone wrong. But that's not really doing Vietnam, or especially Cambodia, much justice. So let me take you back several weeks.

In late December/January, I had the pleasure of hosting my mother and sister Jess in Ho Chi Minh, and as a nice side effect, ended up taking a tour of the Mekong which I've been meaning to do, but saving for some worthy travel companions.

But first, we got to celebrate New Year's Eve in Ho Chi Minh, an experience for everyone regardless of what calendar they adhere to or religion they practice. Being Saigon, alcohol is never in short supply. Nor are characters of every shade. Look at these weirdos:

They aren't even wearing the right hats.

Probably the most notable thing to tell you about New Year's is that I got sprayed in the face multiple times with Silly String, at least once by a small child who took great joy in hitting me in the eye, and introduced Mom and Jess to something called Snake Wine. Basically, it's rum with a giant dead cobra soaking in it. It'll bite ya.

A couple of days later we set off for the Mekong on a three-day tour. The Mekong Delta is known for being part of the "Rice Bowl," producing a large percentage of Vietnam's rice and more than doing its part to establish the country as the world's second-largest rice exporter, behind Thailand. Besides that, the region has piles and piles and piles of fresh tropical fruit, sweet as candy. Nature's candy. We stopped for a tea-and-fruit break, and took in some traditional Mekong singing, after which they let us fiddle around with their instruments. One is played with a toothpick. It's harder than you might imagine.

My album drops next summer.

After this we jumped back on the boat for a tour of a candy-making "factory" (a factory in the Mekong is basically just the locus where things are being made--most factories we saw were about the size of the average American living room). Then it was lunch time.

The afternoon was spent touring some of the back-waters by rowboat, where the VC were fond of setting up ambushes during the American War. Thankfully now, the route is much more relaxed, and beautiful.

These hats actually keep you quite cool.

The first day we ended up in the middle of the Delta, at a homestay in Ben Tre province. This was interesting--tour companies operating out of Ho Chi Minh go to the Delta and canvass for families willing to host tourists for one night--but, the families have to pass a fairly rigorous screening process. they have to have enough space, beds, facilities to cook for moderate-sized tours (usually about 8-10 people), and the general willingness to let tourists regularly upset their living schedule. This was a learning experience--while they family we stayed with were polite and hospitable, and they were willing to teach us how to cook some Vietnamese staples, I learned through questioning our guide that they send their children to live with other relatives, so they can earn extra income by hosting tourists. Sorta sad. Makes you feel a little like an intruder.

The next day was bike-tour time. This was a lot of fun--instead of cruising around on the water channels, we were biking down the "streets" of a Mekong village, occasionally being semi-run off the road by motorbikes, oversized motorcarts, or gangs of excited school-children. It didn't help that I had the world's wobbliest bike, which threatened to fall over at the slightest movement, tot he point where course-corrections looked like wild drunken zig-zagging.

At any rate, going off the main roads has its advantages--you see lots of stuff you wouldn't have expected, like miniature Khmer temples.

Likewise, the locals get an eyeful of the same--giant European people teetering this way and that, shouting Xin Chao at whoever catches their eye. That could have just been me.

After everything, we were deposited back into the civilization--Can Tho, a moderate-sized city that I want to say is the Mekong's largest, though that could be wrong. We woke up to a lovely view, and then went back out on the river for more of the floating market.